I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
