Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
