hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
