Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
