people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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