i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
