The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
