Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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