If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
