I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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