What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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