We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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