you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
