all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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