I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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