This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
