do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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