if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the liver wants what the liver wants
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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