How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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