two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
