The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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