He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize