woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
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