PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
