the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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