Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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