Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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