So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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