come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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