That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm at about main and main street
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
