uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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