plz talk dirty to me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
