last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
