Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
