By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
