i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
