To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
