In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sorry about my life...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
