The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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