get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
