i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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