are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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