She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
