im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
