is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
