I could have mohawked her pubes.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
