Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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