Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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