Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
