I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
