i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
