U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize