I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
