There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
