ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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