Pappa wants mamma naked
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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