at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
