No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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