Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
